


Heart Songs

by ThunderDownOnGreenside



Series: The Many Ways to Come Together [1]
Category: Free!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Blurb III, I Blame Tumblr, I've given up on the names, Inspired by Music, M/M, MikoRin, SeijuuRin, Seirin, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-11
Updated: 2013-12-11
Packaged: 2018-01-04 07:52:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1078435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThunderDownOnGreenside/pseuds/ThunderDownOnGreenside
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's impossible to run from anything when their heart is singing the same songs as yours is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heart Songs

**Author's Note:**

> Deconstructed my darling, I have failed you. T_T I have been doomed to write a series of shitty MikoRin drabbles rather than actually finish your angsty-ass saga. Everyone else, enjoy this! Sorry for any typos D:

_(Take your time, it's not that bad.)_

 

 

He's practically flying, lungs ripped full of scars and fire, his throat torn raw with the air that slices through his windpipe. His whole body burns; arms aching, legs trembling, feet heavy but not clumsy. Not yet. He's still got time. 

 

 

_(I've got a way with words and it's the cause of all my problems; I've got my mind set on anywhere but here.)_

 

 

He's pushing it, but that's okay, he's got it, it's alright. Even though he's ready to collapse and the skyline is tilting and he has to fight to stay upright now, but he can't stop. Keep flying. Run faster. _Run faster_.

 

 

_(You're too proud to say that you made a mistake - you're a coward 'til the end.)_

 

 

Practice ended two hours ago. Stamina training ended an hour after that. The sun is going down. The lights are coming on. Students pass in blurs of white or black and gray, startled voices fading in and out but he’s not stopping, never stopping. He’s seen simple colors, nothing eye-catching. No red. No gold. It’s better that way, he thinks.

 

 

_(I would give it all to not be sleeping alone.)_

  
He stumbles once, sliding on the gravel path, narrowly escaping a twisted ankle or maybe a nasty fall, he doesn’t know and doesn’t care. Caring is for weak people. Falling is for clumsy idiots. And stumbling is for those who can’t win. And he can win.  _He can win_.

 

 

_(Got a bullet in the chamber and this is gonna hurt)  
_

  
Sometime later he notices footsteps behind him, strides less frequent but far more certain, sure-footed and proud, well-trained and much more energetic than his own. He doesn’t turn around. He doesn’t want to see who’s coming up behind him, doesn’t want to know whose sympathy he has incurred this time. Last time is was Nitori, but the kid couldn’t keep up with him. Earlier an administrator had made an effort to get through to him, but he’d just kept running, speeding up beyond the point of no return and pounding along the path until the air felt thin and his head spun.

 

 

_(To buy the truth and sell a lie, the last mistake before you die)  
_

  
Blackness creeps around at the edges of his vision, drifting and twisting and snaking across at times before he takes another breath, which stills the impulse, if only for a moment. Every inhale is harsh, loud, labored in the half-light, every exhale just as ragged and uneven as his footfalls are becoming. Panic starts to set in as he realizes his inability to keep running forever, the irrational fear of it seizing him by the throat and slamming him to the floor. Against his will, he stumbles again.

 

 

( _Sitting here I waste a day as the memories fade away, you know I expected so much more from you.)_

The footsteps are closer now and he almost looks, but he knows better than to throw off his already shaky balance. There is nothing here but you and this path. Nothing but movement and running and flying. Get out of here. Get out. Go home. Where is home? Where can I go? What more can I do? Keep running. Don’t stop. Not for anything, not for red hair or gold eyes or anyone reaching out. For fuck’s sake,  _don’t stop_.

 

 

_(I saw you next I should I say I need you, simply cause I do…and you should know.)_

But he stops. His body gives up before his mind does, lungs seizing up in a coughing fit and legs simply failing to work anymore and it’s like his soul just shuts down. He falls _(falling is for clumsy idiots)_ and he knows he cares  _(caring is for weak people)_ and this is the stumble that will take him down tonight. Like last night. And the night before. If he’s going to go, it may as well be with a heart beating in desperation and a soul aching to just get something fucking _right_  for once. He’s going to hit the ground hard this time.

 

 

_(Your halo slipping down)_

And then he doesn’t. He’s braced up, strong arms catching hold of him and cushioning his tumble, keeping him from slamming down and causing any more injuries than he’s already sustained. The deep nature of the grunt of exertion from behind him tells him all he needs to know.

 

 

"S-Seijuurou?"

 

 

His voice sounds like shit and he feels his captain wince, larger hands reaching up to grip his shoulders and carefully twist him around so that they’re facing each other. He’s tangled up in the other’s lap, half-sitting half-laying in the middle of Samezuka’s jogging path, and for the first time in his life, he’s essentially helpless. He can’t speak, can hardly breathe, can hardly think even, not a single snide comment coming to mind no matter how hard he tries.

 

 

"Rin, what are you doing?"

 

 

Seijuurou’s tone is soft but stern and Rin’s heartbeat picks up despite his current state of exhaustion. His captain has his serious face on, the one expression rarely seen by anyone on the swim team, but as usual Rin has become the exception. He’s been getting this face a lot lately: during practice, in the locker room, passing in the showers and he doesn’t know what to make of it. It would appear that his captain is far more observant than he’d originally given him credit for.

 

 

"None of your business," he practically wheezes, and heck yeah it’s undignified, but he can still sound pissed with no air. Seijuurou isn’t having any of that right now though, and he catches Rin’s outstretched hand in his own and holds it carefully to his chest, just over his heart. The younger male raises an eyebrow but is a little too tired to care all that much.

_(I saw you next I should say I love you, simply cause I love you…and you should know.)_

"Do you feel this?" He asks quietly and Rin, unsure if his purpose, nods uncertainly. "You do realize what this is, don’t you?"

 

 

"Couldn’t possibly be your heart, could it?" The younger replies sarcastically, but silences when Seijuurou downright glares at him, warm eyes going sharp and cold and Rin decides that he really doesn’t like that at all, not one bit.

 

 

"As a matter of fact, it is." His captain responds cooly, seemingly unaffected by Rin’s attitude otherwise. "Now what about this?"

 

 

As he speaks, he reaches out, the younger’s hand still within his grasp, and presses their joined extremities over Rin’s wildly beating heart, almost like he’s trying to soothe it. When he doesn’t move again and his eyes remain fixed on that spot the younger grows impatient, exhaling sharply and attempting to move before he remembers that he’s essentially stuck here in Seijuurou’s lap.

 

 

"My heart! Yeah yeah, whatever." He hisses, jerking his hand away and glaring. "Same beat, same thing, nothing special. I don’t know what you’re trying to get at but it’s wasting my time!"

 

 

His captain opens his mouth as if to speak, then closes it, his demeanor icing over even more than it had earlier and Rin suddenly realizes his mistake. He moves to talk but Seijuurou is already standing up, dumping the smaller male off of his legs and turning away.

 

 

The smaller male makes a pathetic croaking noise as he reaches out after him, unable to speak and there’s a lump swelling up in the back of his throat and goddammit this is the last thing he needs. Unable to help it, he lets out a loud sob, collapsing the rest of the way to the ground in a pile of exhaustion and humiliation.

 

 

The footsteps stop and he hears Seijuurou turn around and despite himself, his heart soars. He’s got a chance.

 

 

He pushes himself up and forces their gazes together, his captain’s guarded, his own desperate. He needs this. He has to say something now before its too late, before Seijuurou decides to walk away again, before he actually goes through with giving up on him like almost everyone else has.

 

 

"Wait." He breathes, voice trembling. "Wait. Don’t go yet. I’m…I’m sorry."

 

 

_(And I swear to God I'll find myself in the end.)_

 

 

And his captain seems to realize that that’s as good as its going to get, because he comes back, expression painstakingly neutral as he crouches down in front of where Rin has sprawled himself out in the dirt. They stare at each other for a minute, one barely capable of breathing, the other hardly daring to. This was that stolen second they always talked about, that moment when everything stands still and you realize that this is it, this the moment of truth for me and you and everything.  **This is what it all comes down to.** _This is what we were made for for, you and I, not just myself._ ** _Tell me this is right. We’re in the right place, the right time, the right world. Please._**

****

****

"You wanted to know what I was doing." He manages finally, overwhelmed for a bit there. Seijuurou seems to be snapping out of a trance as well, and now he gazes steadily at Rin, his eyes finally warming up again.

 

 

"Yeah. And you wanted to know what  _I_ was doing.”

 

 

"I’ll go first?" It’s a quiet request for permission and his captain grants it, sitting down on the path and settling in for the explanation. It’s not going to be long. It’s rather simple, actually. He could chalk it up to inferiority complexes and vicious streaks and mental stress fractures and psychotic breaks and whatever the hell else he could possibly come up with, but none of those are true. At least, not as true as what’s actually happening.

 

 

"I think…I think I’m…falling. For…for you. Like romantically." His confession meets silence and now his brain is on overdrive, spitting things out through his mouth like its his dying pretense. "I mean - shit. Look, I’ve been avoiding you, okay, but I’ve also been seeking you out and shit and I don’t know what to do. I’m not supposed to like you that way. You’re my captain, I’m pretty sure you’ve got a thing for my sister, and fuck. You’re just…I really like you. And falling for you is probably the scariest thing that’s been happening to me and…why are you looking at me like that?"

 

 

With every word Seijuurou’s expression had gradually been softening, every last bit of verbal-vomit triggering yet another minute shift in demeanor until he was almost grinning at his teammate, unable to help himself. At Rin’s final question he burst out laughing, the sounds loud and unrestrained and completely unnecessary as far as the younger man was concerned but he rolled with it anyway, unsure of his captain’s motives and still afraid of rejection.

 

 

"You wanna know what I was doing?" Again, Seijuurou’s ways continue to mystify Rin, but he still nods before he yelps in surprise as his captain pulls him up off the ground and into a huge, tight hug, still laughing to himself. The mystification changes to alarm very quickly and the smaller male almost puts up a struggle before Seijuurou leans in and whispers something close to his ear.

 

 

"I wanted to show you how I felt, too."

 

 

…

 

 

Sunlight streams into the dorm room from between the half-drawn curtains and Rin almost cries when he wakes up and finds that his body may very well be objecting to existing. All of his muscles are screaming in pain and when he takes a deep breath, the sound rattles in his chest and leaves him caught in the rough thrall of a coughing fit, one that is probably only tearing up his inner systems even more.

 

 

Surprisingly, he doesn’t jump when he feels a hand rubbing up and down his back; he only leans into the soothing touch, snuggling closer when a strong pair of arms wrap around him and hold him against another body.

 

 

"Good morning, Rin." Seijuurou says softly, pressing a careful kiss to the smaller male’s forehead and Rin sighs, shifting to rest his head against his captain’s broad chest, right above his heart. It’s still beating like it had been last night, when they’d talked it out and explained themselves and come to terms with all the crap that had been plaguing them since the other had walked into their lives.

 

 

_(Heaven knows how I love you.)  
_

  
Rin can testify that his heart is doing the same.

 

 

 


End file.
